CBI Roundup - March 18, 1943 - China-Burma-India Theater of World War II

VOL. I NO. 27 REG. NO. L5015 DELHI, THURSDAY MARCH 18, 1943.

UNCLE JOE’S BIRTHDAY

Lt. Gen. Joseph W. Stilwell becomes 60 years of age tomorrow. Most high officials during wartime issue trenchant communiques through Public Relations Officers announcing that the gentleman in question observed the occasion by remaining on the job. With Stilwell that's taken for granted. Happy days from all of us, Boss.

STETTINIUS SAYS LEND-LEASE TO CHINA DEPENDS ON PLANES

WASHINGTON - (UP) - Sumner Welles, Undersecretary of State, told newsmen that the United States is asking all United Nations to send representatives to an impending meeting in the United States in which discussion will include not only post-war food but also the broader field of economics.
Meanwhile, as the House Foreign Affairs Committee voted a one-year extension of Lend-Lease, a report said that the nation shouldn't expect payments from Lend-Lease debtors "in gold or goods." It added that final settlements shouldn't burden commerce.
The committee reported that China received $158,000,000 worth of Lend-Lease, corroborating President Roosevelt's statement that China is now receiving more by air than formerly by the Burma Road. Lend-Lease Administrator Edward Stettinius testified that Great Britain received more than $2,000,000,000 and Russia more than adding, "Lend-Lease aid to China hasn't been nearly as great as the situation requires, although until more planes are available supplies will continue to be restricted."

DELHI HERO S/Sgt. Otway Sheppard was taking a quiet stroll around New Delhi when he was accosted by an elderly and distinguished-looking British gentleman, whose attention focused on the sergeant's service ribbons.
The sympathetic admirer said to Sheppard: "I'd like to treat you to a drink, you must have gone through hell to earn those medals." Sheppard was wearing his three newly-purchased ribbons - Asiatic Theater, National Defense and Good Conduct!

Air Medals To 39 More Fliers

The Tenth Air Force this week announced 39 additional awards of the Air Medal.
Included in the list are some of the theater's most distinguished airmen - Col. Homer L. Saunders, commanding officer of an Assam pursuit group; Capt. Wynn D. Miller, Assam fighter flight leader; Lt. Edward M. Nollmeyer, who shot down Jap planes in both last fall's and the recent raids on Assam; Maj. Grant Mahony, China fighter squadron leader; Maj. Albert J. Baumler, the theater's first ace; and T/Sgt. Adam R. Williams, veteran gunner of the former China Air Task Force.
The following were also honored: Lieut. Clarke E. Johnston, Lieut. Donald L. Thompson, Lieut. Robert H. Sikes, Lieut. Patrick L. Ham, S/Sgt. Aden E. Jones, Sgt. James N. Young, Sgt. Duncan E. McAllister, Maj. David W. Wallace, Capt. John Svenningsen, Capt. Herbert W. Davis, Capt. Charles H. Colwell, Capt. William W. Moore, Lieut. Ira M. Sussky, Lieut. Jack G. Hamilton, Lieut. Robert R. Santini, Lieut. Arthur L. Gregg, Lieut. Alvin B. Watson, Lieut. Stanley Combs, Lieut. John L. Yantis, Lieut. Lyle T. Boley, Lieut. Charles T. Streit, Col. Conrad F. Necrason, Lieut. George L. Hannah, Lieut. Robert E. Tucker, Jr., Lieut. Eugene J. Comontofski, Flight Officer Gordon J. Andrews, Flight Officer Charles J. Harlin, S/Sgt. William G. Slonaker, Sgt. John T. Griggs, Corp. Newton L. Porter, Jr., Pvt. Robert B. Wilson, Jr., Lieut. Francis T. Bonsteel, Jr., S/Sgt. Nathan L. Wall.

COLLINS ACQUIRES CHOPPERS - BUT LOSES SAME

Toothless Marvin Collins, a woebegone little G.I., informed the Roundup one day:
"I don't want to go home. All I want is a set of teeth. I've been eating mashed potatoes and gravy for 14 months and I'm sick of it. The women won't go out with me. I think the Roundup can do something for me."
The Roundup did!
Inviting the ire of the entire Medical and Dental Corps, this little family journal launched a campaign to procure "biters detachable" for Collins. We've never dared to go to a dentist for treatment since.
Collins was sent to Karachi for impressions the day the Roundup had completed secret arrangements to get the lad a set of crockery from the British through reverse lend-lease.
It was a classic victory!
We followed the progress of Collins in Karachi. One colonel, one sergeant and a corporal have filed reports on what was new on the Karachi teething front. Satisfactory progress was reported.
Finally the teeth were delivered. Collins admitted they were not only handsome, they were utilitarian and even fit. He boarded a train to return to his station in New Delhi. Then he ate a can of salmon which made him so sick he had to hang his head out a window while en route.
Pfc. Marvin Collins, chums, has no teeth today!!!

Madame Chiang Ruins Anti-Slacks Campaign

WELLESLEY, MASS. - (UP) - Madame Chiang Kai-shek, wife of China's Generalissimo, saved her slacks for the girls of Wellesley College.
Madame Chiang strolled around the campus, searching for landmarks to recall the days when she was a Wellesley student, 20 years ago. She wore a turban and navy blue slacks.
Wellesley President Mildred McAfee said, "Her slacks ruined our anti-slacks campaign. The faculty has suddenly reversed its stand. We are now for slacks."

SHAVE TAIL!

These two well padded gentlemen are Col. Frank Milani, theater adjutant general, and 2nd Lt. Edward J. McEntee, formerly a master sergeant and chief clerk in Milani's office. McEntee received his gold bar primarily for his sterling efforts as a horse player. He has never been out of shouting range of a bookie since he was poured off the Brazil. While Milani pins on the gold bar, McEntee intimates he's got something hot in the fourth at New Delhi.

Bar-Club Proves Huge Success
With Air Basers

By Corp. ED FERGUSON

INDIA AIR BASE - Already the bar-rail (specially made) of the new Ace of Clubs bar-club has known the scrape and weight of countless G.I. brogans. It is several weeks now since the first cork was yanked and the tumult that was opening night was on.
Here, "merrie companie" may be found, with the laughter of good drinking men echoing across the dark-vistaed rice paddies.
The genial bar-keeps, Jefferson H. Ronk (Suh!) and Bob Tracy, are spared the usual "ilias malorun" of the more maudlin clientele by the cartoon on the wall directly behind the "stick" which depicts an urbane clergyman bestowing benediction under the caption: "Don't tell your troubles to the bartender, see your chaplain."
The walls of the main room and tap-room are generously covered with cartoons and "gag" bric-a-brac, (i.e. the G.I. stretcher with the legend, "For deadweight drunks only!")
The food is excellent, and would please an epicurean of the most exacting tastes. The dishes are few in number, but the food is a man's food; non-G.I. food, roasted viands so simply and incomparably prepared by our chef-de-cuisine George Geovanes; that Dagwood Bumstead would fairly swoon in ecstasy.
For the non-bibulous clientele, an ice cream bar is a welcome added feature.
The cockles of one's gnarled old heart are oft-times warmed no end by a group of lads with their unmelodious voices raised in tear-provoking roundelays of Gay Ninety vintage. An excellent gramophone (with an extensive library) lends a juke-box air to the establishment.
A bunch of neophyte dog-faces with the hallowed dust of the States still fresh on the hooves has augmented the stock of phonograph records with several discs that graced the Hit Parade as "late" as September last.
Here within these gay wall all the minor grievances, the paltry intrigues, envies, gossips, rumors and petty politics that might tend to poison squadron life slip back into their true proportion and become the trivialities they really are.

PRIVATE GEE EYE BY S/SGT. JACK NOLAN

China Air Base Officers Would Put First Claim On Pied Piper

By Sgt. JOHN E. CHAPMAN

CHINA AIR BASE - If the Pied Piper ever wanders into China, Maj. Everett W. Holstrom, Lt. Mason O. Brown, and Lt. Lucian Youngblood, of this medium bombardment squadron of the CATF, would claim first priority on him for a little flute playing in their quarters.
Having been troubled with rats indulging in leap frog all over them during the night, as well as eating their meager supplies of candy, these officers were getting might desperate until Lt. Foggy Fitzhugh came up with the brilliant declaration that if they would catch one of these rats, singe him, and then release him he would return to the gang and tell them about the terrible atrocities of the Americans and there would be no more nocturnal visits by Brother Rat and his colleagues.
Well, this was a swell idea so the plan was carefully carried out the following evening. When they released Brother Rat, these gentlemen gleefully declared their troubles to be over - they thought!
The next night the "genus rattus" turned out en masse. Their main objective proved to be Holstrom's box of vitamin tablets. By gnawing holes in the cardboard box they successfully completed their mission.
Now, invigorated by this energy food, they have eaten so many holes in the walls of the room that there is considerable danger of their collapsing. The situation at this writing is so critical that these officers are compelled to sleep with the lights on and with clubs lying beside each man.
Any information how these rats may be driven from their happy home will be gratefully received.

Williams

THEATRE HERO GETS ORDERS TO GO HOME

By Sgt. JACK BLUMENFIELD

One of the outstanding air heroes of the theatre will soon be homeward-bound.
He is T/Sgt. Adam R. Williams, and the tales he will be able to spin to the folks at Morgantown, N.C., will hold them spellbound.
Williams will return weighed down with medals and owning the distinction of having participated in the Doolittle bombing of Tokyo. His decorations include the Distinguished Flying Cross, Silver Star, Purple Heart, Air Medal and the Chinese Order of the Clouds.
He will be able to tell how the presentations were made by Lt. Gen. Joseph Stilwell, Brig. Gen. Claire Chennault and Brig. Gen. Clayton Bissel, of the American forces in the theatre, and China's "Gissimo" and Madame Chiang Kai-shek.
The home folk will also learn more about what they already know about Williams' aerial gunnery record. He blasted three Japs out of the sky. Those are confirmed, and there is another probable. No other B-25 gunner has equaled that record in the theatre.
Williams finally came on the receiving end of gunfire. While on a flight over Burma, he stopped four slugs of anti-aircraft shell in his arms and legs.
However, he passed through New Delhi looking fit, although he is still feeling the effects of injury to one arm.
Rumor has it that he will be reassigned to teach student gunners in the United States how to take the sting out of Jap Zeros.
Williams' plane attacked the Yokosuka naval base during the Japan raid and plastered a vessel believed to be an aircraft carrier in drydock. The bomber scooted China-ward, but owing to darkness the crew was compelled to bail out. They landed on a mountaintop and spent 20 days finding a rendezvous, from which they traveled to Chungking.
The returning hero joined the Army in 1938. His brother, Bill, was an artilleryman in Honolulu when Pearl Harbor was attacked.
Bissell presented Williams with the Air Medal last week. He later paid the sergeant high tribute during his press conference.

CATF Pays Deserved Tribute To Air Corps Supply Workers

By T/Sgt. WILLIAM P. LORD

CHINA AIR BASE - Glory, fame and honor showers down on those who fly the birds of war. Salvage crews and rescue parties travel far and wide to do their thriling work. But behind all this there is a little bunch of men to whom the war means nothing but daily routine work. Combat flying or just plain flying means replacement of worn or damaged parts and replacement means having a supply somewhere. The China Air Task Force pays tribute to its Air Corps Supply.
Once upon a time there was a material squadron, just a plain ordinary one, and it operated the Base A. C. Supply at Hamilton Field. When the unhonorable sons of Nippon began their uneasy swarming and buzzing, Uncle Sam sent this squadron to the theater, so he could be sure that the supplies would be handled right. He must have later decided that this little squadron was a sure enough pretty good thing on account of he busted it up unto upteen parts and called the parts Base Units. One of these units he sent to China.
Remember now, this wasn't a Depot Supply Squadron, just a little part of a good material squadron. The commanding officer separated his men and to the smallest group he said, "China Supply is your job."
Fighting in Burma was nearing the climax and the Road was closed. The east coast had fallen, Shanghai, Hong Kong and Singapore under Japanese control.
Many problems faced Capt. Clarence B. Dayton, who was then Supply Officer. As for personnel, his highest ranking non-com was Sgt. Robert S. Miller, Corp. Joe B. McGee ranked next and the rest were privates.
Utilizing a little compound with three mud buildings that had been the AVG supply, they took inventory and set up for business. It was heart-breaking work.
When a transport would land, Dayton or his boys would drive up alongside and ask, "Have you anything for A. C. Supply, please, pretty please?" When the gods of war single out their best helpmates these men will surely be among the first.
Finally, The D.C.'s learned their way and the supplies began to come through. Late in August, Warrant Officer John F. Cody (then M/Sgt.) was sent up and business began to get organized. At first the supplies were consumed as soon as they could be unpacked, then the stocks began to grow a bit. More transports and more supplies, until the little compound wouldn't hold it. Another compound was taken over and Air Corps Supply was mentioned with a bit more respect and less cussin'.
In September Maj. Richard D. Carr was assigned to the outfit as Supply Officer and Dayton took over Engineering. OELs requisitions, boxes, not enough men, where to put the gasoline, Tech. Supply men and radiograms made Cody lose his hair by the handfuls. It was now back-breaking work. The men slept where they worked. Hell's Anchors, this was control depot work, not just a base supply.
But as it usually does, everything came out in the wash and now smoothly rolls along. The men still have to work until 10 o'clock when there isn't a show in the mess hall. Corp. James W. Meyers and Pfc. Harold J. Gerguson have burned the midnight oil past midnight many times getting their shipments sorted and ready for the next plane. Pvt. (he ain't what he used to be) Robert S. Miller is chief warehouseman and most certainly has his hands full getting around to the different compounds. Sgt. Rudy Lange is Number One Ramrod, assuming such duties, vice M/Sgt. Cody, promoted. Requisitions, stock record and general pencil pushing is left up to Corp. Edward R. Bien. Shipping and receiving is just one glorious headache to Sgt. Wm. D. Nugent. He was lost three days one time, getting crates and boxes sorted. Playing nursemaid to millions of drums of 100 octane gasoline is no fun according to Corp. Merle L. Kellett. Sgt. Joe B. McGee is the man at one of our outlying airdromes that keeps the 100 octane sorted. Joe

GOOD SAMARITANS

American soldiers at an air base in China have taken responsibility for the welfare of refugee Burmese orphans. The benefactors pay for the food and lodging of the homeless youngsters. Left to right: Corp. K. J. Poulton, Sgt. William P. Lord, Sgt. Russell V. White, Sgt. William E. Brown, Capt. Glenn H. Smith.

says it's a grand feeling to sit on top of a gas dump and watch the Tiger Sharks and Zeros tangle while the bombers slip around laying eggs, nut that is strictly one man's opinion.
That's about the story. All of it cannot be told on account of because the man with the long scissors would cut it out or if it was published there would be many blushing faces around these parts. What is written is based on personal observation and knowledge of the work these men are doing.

Chinese Envoy Tours India Training Camp

CHINESE-AMERICAN TRAINING CAMP - Gen. Joseph W. Stilwell's training camp here was inspected by Dr. Wellington Koo, Chinese ambassador to Great Britain.
Accompanied by a distinguished party and greeted by a guard of honor, Koo was taken on an inspection tour of training facilities by Brig. Gen. Frederick McCabe, commandant of the center, and Brig. Gen. Hayden L. Boatner, chief of staff of the Chinese Expeditionary Force in India.
The ambassador visited Chinese sick in the hospital; received a massed review of troops; renewed friendship with Maj. Gen. S. Y. Liao, Chinese division commander.

STRICTLY G.I. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Roundup Editor:
We have just finished reading the Feb. 25 issue of the CBI Roundup, and are now in a homicidal mood. The reasons for our feeling this way are simple and easily explained.
"The Five-Must-Get-Beers" say they have been rationed only five cans of beer in seven months. Well, now their reasons for drinking this delightful brew are numerous and true. But we have had no beer for nine months. This is practically a catastrophe as the "jing bow juice" and "green death" which are purchased locally, are usually a mixture of turpentine and nitroglycerine. In fact one of our illustrious squadron "tipplers" went so far as to drink a bottle of Dr. Scholl's Foot Lotion. We haven't been able to determine how it tasted, because the sergeant is still flying around in the stratosphere with a collapsed landing gear. For a picture of this weird sight, write to the signers of this letter and we will supply a personally autographed photo. We will also gladly swap a quart of "Chinese champagne" for a can of stateside beer.
We were also wondering if these aforementioned men were getting the luxuries of life in their PX. Well these articles are mighty scarce up here. We receive our cigarettes for which we are extremely thankful. We also get Kleenex, coathangers, canvas leggings, clothes brushes, etc. The PX looks like a pawn shop on Maxwell street in Chicago. Ah! Chicago.
We would also like the editor to please see if he couldn't line us up with a job as supply sergeants in the WAACs. Can't you imagine handling a delicate article of femininity across the counter and saying, "Girlie, try these water wings on for size." Wow!
Well, we had better sign off now before someone becomes angry. We think the Roundup is swell especially the reporting of the Errol Flynn case.) Keep up the good work.
Yours truly, T/Sgts. T. H. Teppen, H. Jenkins, D. E. Sherk

Roundup Editor:
Here's a suggestion that I would like to air in your columns if you consider it of sufficient interest and importance. It concerns the orientation program that was tried out in various Army units a little while back. I don't know the details but here is a rough idea of the purpose of the program.
The War Department realized that the large army that was growing up in our country was made up mostly of men who could be considered to be of a high average intelligence. It was thought desirable to offer these men an opportunity under Army auspices to discuss the why's and wherefore's of various subjects which would be of general interest to all. Army organization, social security, post-war reconstruction, military strategy, world events leading up to the present conflict: these are examples of those subjects.
The program was tried, with marked success I understand, and it seemed that such a program would be instituted throughout all the armed forces of the country. However, our entry into the war must have caused the plans to be shelved, at least for a time. It seems to me that the idea is a good one and I, for one, am in favor of trying to organize such a program in this theater.
Perhaps other men feel the same way and will offer suggestions with the idea of getting the ball rolling. It may be of interest to know that the British Army is working along these lines and I have been told that their program is working very well and is quite popular with their men. I hope something can be done if the scheme is practical and meets with official sanction and popular support.
Sgt. Marshall N. Cohen

Roundup Editor:
From the amount of "moans" we have poured into the Roundup recently you fellows no doubt will regard this outfit to be in dire need of more crying towels and chaplains up here.
At the risk, therefore, of making ourselves obnoxious to you this correspondent is bowing to pressure from several members of the outfit and writing to you for help in a very important matter.
It seems that there is considerable misunderstanding up in these parts about this deal of 12 months combat duty or 18 months ground service, and then back to the zone of the interior. (Recent letters from soldiers in the States have not helped the situation either, as we are informed that G.I.'s back there are receiving 10 days furlough every four months!)
Since the Roundup is doing such a swell job of reporting the news and keeping us informed about what is going on and what may occur in the future, would it be within your ability to publish a sort of directive hot off the mimeographing machine from Gen. Bissell's office?
We have a number of boys in this medium bomber squadron who left the United States in November, 1941. Since then they have served in

BAMBOO BAR

After the day's work at an Assam air base, the most popular place is the "Bamboo Bar" at the non-commissioned officers' mess. Photo by Corp. Lee Kruska)

the Fiji Islands, Australia, India, and China - they arrived in India in March, 1942, and have been stationed continuously in China since June, 1942. Consequently, these fellows, several of whom are married and have children, are really "sweating out" some accurate and definite information (if possible) concerning the probability of returning home in the not too distant future. They have read and re-read the extract of the War Department Circular, July 1, 1942, and published by Headquarters, 10th U.S. Air Force, on December 16, 1942.
Opinions vary from extreme optimism to extreme pessimism but however each may regard this, they are all anxious to get some real "dope."
Therefore, if you can help these boys out via the columns of the Roundup we would be exceedingly grateful. Thanks a lot!
By the way, and this isn't intended as a juicy bribe but a fact that may be of interest to you, this writer had occasion to visit recently with an American war correspondent, who has seen a number of U.S. Army service newspapers. He inform us that the Roundup is far and away the best of any he has yet to come across.
- S/Sgt. John E. Chapman

OFF THE COB

We're getting so pressed for cheesecake that we'll even use such corn as this, which the press agent for a Coast Defense Group has captioned "The Flame Girl." She is supposed to symbolize the spirit of defense workers guarding war centers against fires and her name is Elyse Knox.

Major’s Diligence Rewarded For Searching His ‘In’ Basket

By Sgt. KARL PETERSON

HQ., INDIA AIR TASK FORCE - Maj. Williard A. Fountain, erstwhile C.O. of one of India's better bomb squadrons, is just another gent who gets fatigued flying first pilot on a big deck. Indeed, he explained to the boys recently, the only incentive he had for plowing through the paper snowstorm each morning, transferring it from box "In" to "Out," is the hope of finding orders returning him to the sunny clime of Hialeah, Fla.
His diligence was rewarded last week when the daily browse unearthed the following document: "Pursuant to instructions Radio AQUA J1420B, Mar. 7, 1943, Maj. Williard A. Fountain, 0-22749, AC, is relieved fr attachment to this hq and wp by first available bullock cart and/or camel caravan fr- to-, India, reporting on arrival to the Port QM for water transportation to the Zone of the Interior. Water travel may be by neutral, belligerent, or co-belligerent sampan, schooner, or similar sailing vessel. Upon arrival at the ZI, Maj. Fountain will hitch-hike to St. Elizabeth's Hospital, Washington, D.C., reporting upon arrival to the Surgeon for close and careful observation.
"TDN. In lieu of subs a flat per diem of 6 pice per day is authorized for travel in accordance with local interpretation of existing law and regulations. FD 34 P B4 U GO BED. Per diem alws will be suspended regularly and frequently as outlined in WD Memo 812 GREEN. By Command of etc."
Said Fountain to the chuckling gagsters, "I just wish it had been signed properly."

Pvt. Joe Rose is this week's outstanding military casualty. With a bunged-up glim (Wow, what a mouse!) and battered jaw, he staggered home from the city looking as if he had been over Kasserine Pass on a bicycle. Certain characters, he said, had (a) accosted (b) beaten and (c) robbed him. "I had nine annas when I first woke up," he moaned, "Now I've lost that." Who said this isn't the combat zone?

Southerners and Midwesterners around our headquarters, in addition to learning the British and Hindustani languages, are also acquiring snatches of New Yorkese, "as she is spoke." Examples: S/Sgt. Alex Worgaftik, who used to go out on strike with Amalgamated Mink Cutters, local No. 802, "Such hands I been gettin'. These cards are strictly from Dixie." T/4th John T. (for Twitch) Murphy, the Bronx' gift to the profession of radio operating, "The message log is all SNAFU. Who's been messing it up?"

I'D SAY THEY DON'T KNOW HOW
T'was one morning in February,
I was dreaming of the foe,
When the sound came thru the Barracks,
That the siren was to go.
I jumped up so quickly
I almost broke my back,
And reached for mask and helmet,
Hanging on the rack.
I headed for the trenches,
A good place you'll admit,
And just because alert had sounded,
I almost had a fit.
The thoughts were soon forgotten
As sound came from the sky,
And two tiny little airplanes,
Came swiftly sailing by.
It must have been a Zero,
With a P-40 on his tail,
'Cause the leading plane exploded,
Probably blasted into hell.
I sit there proudly watching
For t'was an amazing sight,
A lovely Jap formation
Ten bombers in the flight.
They dropped their eggs so neatly
But that didn't worry me
Because every single one
Landed directly in the tea.
The pursuit got most of them
As they headed for home
Assam had scored a hit
On the boys that love to roam.
The casualties were very few
A chicken and a cow
If you ask for opinion
I'd say they don't know how.
- Corp. H. D. LANGLEY

HE TUCKS HIS NET WELL IN
The night was hot, and poor G.I.
Tossed on his cot, and cussed
The powers that made him sweat
Neath a blasted shroud they call a net,
What care I for that stinking anopheles
I'll take my chances if you please,
And speaking thus he seized the rag
And stuffed it in his barracks bag.
But mister minimus hov'ring near
Sailed in and blitzed his exposed rear,
For here he lay without defence
And in due course without pretence
He shivered and shook in every joint
Until he thought that die he might
Unless the Doc would put things right.
The days and nights dragged on and on,
Till G.I. was but a skeleton.
His color was light grey green
Down to his navel reached his spleen
But sadder than this dirty deal
He even lost all sex appeal.
Tojo grins because he knows
The Gee Eyes sleep with mosquitos
So wipe that smile right off his face
And keep that net tucked well in place.
- Maj. JOHN J. WOLFE
and Lt. JIM MYERS

MONOTONY COMES
TO THE CENSOR
There's so much I could tell you dear
But it would be cut out . . I fear,
I'd like to tell you where I'm at
But the Censor says I can't tell that
I'd like to tell you what I do
But that is on the "don't list" too.
I would enclose a picture of
This lucky soldier who you love
But I can't do it - 'cause you know
The name of the place might somehow show.
All I can say - is written here
The sun is shining - the day is clear
And I love you more and more - my dear. - ANONYMOUS

AH DILEMMA
Fortune teller, you ain't kiddin'
When you whisper thus to me -
"You are here in body only,
But your heart's across the sea."
Tell me more, Oh pseudo-scholar,
Does HIS heart beat a retreat,
When WAVES in uniform wash up,
Start gently lapping at his feet?
Has he gone completely WAACy?
Has he fallen - ah, a WOW!
Or himself become entangled
With a WIRE? Not knowing how,
Ere you answer, Fortune teller,
Take this wisdom straight from me -
A man is safer - and by far
In India - with the ANC.
- Lt. ELIZABETH SHAUNTY

SONG OF THE OXCART
What does the whine of the oxcarts say
As they roll so slowly along,
Are they giving advice on events of the day,
Or merely singing a song?
Are they telling us how to whip the Japs,
As if we didn't know.
Or is one whining commands to its fellow carts
To keep them in a row?
Are they chiding us for our many blunders
And telling us where to go.
Or are they boastfully chanting of Indian wonders
Like the Taj and others we know?
Are they asking us to go or stay awhile,
Saying we're right or wrong,
Or just rolling along each weary mile
Without thought, but only a song?
Are they weary with the dreary loads they haul
As they go creeping and creaking along,
Or do they just need grease a bit of oil
To stop them from singing their song?
- Lt. ALEX J. PORTER

NO DUCK

This is no duck, but a turkey-buzzard displayed by Col. T. G. Wold (left). Furthermore, it didn't duck, or not enough, when it met the colonel's ship on a recent flight. Instead, it dropped down to rub noses, crashed through to jar the bomb-bay door lever and open the doors, and slid down the hatch to cover the navigator and Sam Irwin (center), civilian technical representative. At the right is Capt. Robert S. Puckett. (Photo by Lieut. Alex J. Porter)

Latest News Of Mosquito Flats

By Corp. W. D. TRIGG

The following note found on the desk of yours truly is published for the interest of all concerned: "Although we have not conducted ourselves in the manner of Errol Flynn and are thus not subjects of interesting copy, we would like to see our names in print just for the hell of it." Signed: Lts. Searl, Royer and Pinckney. Well ---?
Here's the latest Mosquito Flats news: Corp. Trepp makes an allotment - in fact such a large allotment that he's having to pull some financial impossibilities to keep his nose above water, this month. Lt. Livingston found in hospital nursing a sore toe. Inspection of hospital records reveal status of injury (in medical terms) Infectionitis of the Third Lumbar Region of the Toe Nail caused by overexposure to Mosquito carrying germs of Siesta too Mucha. Corp. Henneberger actually seen running!! Reason: Pay Call.
(Ask Lt. Thorn about this one): S/Sgt. Page still in hospital. Doctors still puzzling how a man weighing 207 pounds can eat a meal with a gross weight of 8 pounds and still lose weight? T/Sgt. Jones and S/Sgt. Gurr (alias Shorty and Shorter) reported lost. When last seen were out-fumbling each other in front of the Theater Box Office.
Sgt. Hamm wearing a relieved expression after reading the results of the Errol Flynn trial. Hmmmmm. Event of the week: S/Sgt. Burke, M/Sgt. Black and assorted other upstanding members of the detachment settling the war problem "once and for all" in the mess hall.

Burma Struck In Week-Long Bomber Raids

Official 10th Air Force communiques of the past week indicate that the Jap had no cause for rejoicing in Burma. Fighters and bombers attacked his positions with continued zeal and, returning, reported widespread damage to his installations, including the oft-attacked Myitnge, Mogaung and Pazundaung bridges. Would-be enemy interceptors were shot down in abortive attempts to halt our operations.
Fighters armed with light bombs roared into northern Burma on Mar. 9. They reported seven direct hits upon the bridge at Mogaung, leaving the center span sagging and the north approach span completely out. The town of Mogaung was showered with fragmentation bombs and a violent explosion that erupted was believed to have been the result of a hit on an ammunition dump. Another hit started a fire of heavy black smoke, and the target was believed to have been an oil storage depot. Enemy landing fields at Kamaing and Manywet were strafed. Other targets attacked at low altitude were a convoy of 12 motor vehicles and enemy-occupied buildings at Wasat and Tingpair.
Twelve tons of bombs were dropped upon the Pazundaung Bridge, north of Rangoon, on the 10th. Full damage has not yet been assessed, but five direct hits were reported on the north end of the bridge. Enemy fighters made an abortive attempt at interception.
A considerable wallop was landed on the enemy on the same day by heavy bombers, who scored with bombs on the ground and their protective armament in the air. From 11 to 13 Jap fighters intercepted our attacking force after it had delivered a telling bomb-punch at Mingaladon Airfield. In a running 40-minute air scrap, the Jap lost three Zeros. All our aircraft returned safely.
Medium bombers attacked Myitnge on the 11th and reported near hits on the north approaches.
The Pazundaung Bridge receipted for further pounding on the 12th, when heavy bombers scored on its north approach. Another target was the Mahlwagon railroad yards, where a near miss was reported on the roundhouse.
Three enemy fighters attempted to stall our bombers. A twin-engined aircraft, believed to have been an I-45, is claimed destroyed, a Zero is claimed probably destroyed and the third plane, also a Zero, is claimed as probably damaged.
All of our aircraft returned safely.

On Improving The
Beer Bottle Figure

The question of avoirdupois (fatty tissue in the general regions of the umbilicus and the posterior) is indeed a thorny one.
It is difficult for the Roundup to handle because officers of high rank and station immediately become, willy-nilly, the subject of public discussion. We don't wish to infer that the incipient potbelly and the barge-bottom are the exclusive properties of such dignitaries but it cannot be denied that these individuals possess more than their fair share.
This dissertation, however, will follow our tradition of fearless journalism and will be devoted to the question of how to reduce or "How Can I Sit on a Web-bottom Chair Without Looking Like Mother's Waffle Iron." Any resemblance in our horrible examples to officers in this theater, living or dead, will be somewhat coincidental.
The question of the pocked posterior often carried by the desk soldier rampant is not so much a question of fat as it is of muscle tone. There again the thought, "has a desk soldier any muscle," rears its ugly head. This question will not be answered as it comes dangerously close to the staff of this little family journal.
A girl we once knew was a trifle "hippy" and handled the waffle-bottom question by rolling austerely on the floor 25 times each night before retiring. Hers was a deep concentration that brooked no interference. We, however, believe in making such things closer to the soul so we recommend a portable phonograph and records keyed to the ambition of the roller. For the sloth-like colonel, for instance, White Christmas might make suitable accompaniment. For an eager, though padded, brigadier general, thirsting for a trim second star figure, we suggest Jingle, Jangle or Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar. Deep in the Heart of Texas would be out of this world for one enjoying horizontal rat-racing.
To those who refuse to improvise and adapt their needs to the supply potential of the area it is suggested that mechanical horses and vibrators be solicited through the good offices of reverse lend-lease. Steam rooms are available. In fact a month from now any room in India will do.
Ugly bulges can be removed by the use of a retreaded rolling pin. Care in this case should be taken, however, in the selection of tread design. Either the nonskid variety or the old fashioned vacuum cup are recommended.
In order to fully adapt oneself to local availability, though, we heartily recommend a few workouts with your local Yogi. As we all know a full-fledged Yogi has such muscular control he can suck in the abdomen until it veritably touches the spine. We can think of several people for whom this might become a life work.
In fact should you have difficulty with this at the start we recommend the use of a corset with your bearer pulling like mad on the constriction strings.
Just as a word to the wise on this Yogi business we want to point out that Lou Nova went the Yogi route before his fight with one Sgt. Joe Louis Barrow.
As we recall Nova got the "sleeper" in the sixth.

The C.B.I. Roundup is a weekly newspaper published by and for the men of the United States Army Forces in China, Burma, and India, from news and pictures supplied by staff members, soldier correspondents, the United Press and Office of War Information. The Roundup is published Thursday of each week and is printed by The Statesman in New Delhi, India. Editorial matter should be sent directly to Lt. Clancy Topp, Rear Echelon, Hq., U.S.A.F., C.B.I., New Delhi, and should arrive not later than Monday in order to make that week's issue. Pictures must arrive by Sunday and must be negatives or enlargements. Stories should contain full name and organization of sender.

MARCH 18, 1943

Adapted from the original issue of C • B • I Roundup

Copyright © 2019 Carl Warren Weidenburner

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