SHAKESPEARE DIED IN NEW DELHI HALL
UNCLE JOE & “UNCLE MOE”
On the left is three-star general Joseph W. (Uncle Joe) Stilwell. On the right is "Uncle Moe Pilwell,"
better know as Sgt. Charles Johansen. Uncle Joe got to New Delhi just too late to see "Uncle Moe" flash
his five stars on the stage of the Regal Theater in "Roundup."
MAJOR BROWN “DEAD” BUT DECORATED
OUR PLANES SMACK RANGOON AGAIN
Enemy installations at Rangoon, and Port Blair in the Andaman Islands were targets for heavy bomber
squadrons of the Tenth Air Force on December 11.
At Rangoon, according to the communiqué, 20 large-sized bombs were seen bursting among warehouses and
a direct hit was reported on the dock. Fires were observed in the waterfront area.
All planes and personnel returned undamaged.
Decorations were handed out from the stage of the Regal Theater last week to various officers and men
of the United States Army by "Uncle Moe Pilwell," the five-star general who appeared in the soldier show, "Roundup."
According to "Uncle Moe," all recipients came up to be insulted except Major W. T. Brown. Major
Brown, having failed to make an appearance, was "officially" reported "dead" by "the general."
"I've suspected it for a long time," the general said.
Sadly, Sgt. Rholie Bailey, adjutant, then presented a posthumous award to Brown that was taken by
Lt. William G. McIllhiney. Bailey's remarks follow:
"This night is indeed unusual. Tonight we compliment the Quartermaster Corps and the men who serve
in it. Not enough credit is given to this very complicated branch of the service. The quartermaster section is in every
theater of war and has never lost a battle nor a bottle.
"Tonight we take off our brass knuckles and shake the hand (is rigor mortis as cold as all that?) of
Major Brown; tonight we put down our bricks and throw bouquets at the quartermaster.
"This award should be two-fold: (1) Covering the substitution of eye-patches for eye-shades and (2)
"The Battle for Pants" during which Warrant Officer Grove demonstrated a stroke of literary genius. However, the award
will be based on the battle for Pants. When you received the "Order of the Triple Cross" with "Bleeding Heart" clusters
remember that we expect you to bear this cross like a little man the rest of your life. I. 'Uncle Moe Pilwell,' do
hereby award the cross with the following bit of verse:
"Oh Quartermaster, Oh Quartermaster, my legs are bare.
To go on duty I hardly dare.
I'm too embarrassed, or I'd come down there
To scratch out your eyes and pull your hair -
So, if you have trousers send me a pair."
Any officers and men desiring to send floral pieces or other little tributes to Major Brown
(posthumously) may do so in care of the editor!
Ham was in abundance in New Delhi last week and corn was definitely off the cob!
The United States Army trod the boards before two packed houses at the Regal Theater on Wednesday
and Thursday nights in "Roundup," a production that the cast has never been able to adequately describe.
Nobody who has seen it can describe it either!
It was a cross between musical comedy and Minsky's with the edge to burlesque. All the old jokes
and routines from American burlesque and vaudeville houses were brought out, dusted off and bounced over the footlights
to a delighted audience that later staggered out talking to itself.
It was sexy in spots, but only seven women got up and left during the show's two-night stand. That
wasn't bad for India.
Original songs were sung by original people, indignities were perpetrated on the persons of unsuspecting
members of the audience, a 14-brick "woman" was found, one of the comedians accused a woman in the audience of
wearing his wife's pants and proceeded to chase her screaming out the door.
He came back with the pants and three women got up and left.
The "comedy" was written and "acted" by Corp. Arny Schwartz (who insists he's from Fall River, Mass.,
but has all the earmarks of Brooklyn) and T/Sgt. Shy Greenspan. They carried most of the load.
Sgt. Rholie Bailey, however, stepped in to hold up his end with
imitations, presentation of decorations
and a strip tease that beat anything Margie Hart ever did - Victory Garden G-String or not.
What Bailey lacked in curves was replaced with a reasonable facsimile thereof.
TAKE IT OFF!
Throughout the second act Pvt. Jesse James sat objectionably on a corner of the stage and ate his
lunch. At times he was insulting. Especially when Bailey did his strip tease.
"Take it off," James shouted. "Take it all off."
On the musical side of the show, Pvts. Valentin Almendarez and Nicholas Reyes got the biggest hand
for their Mexican songs. Corp. Nicholas Minella went to town on his harmonica. Sgt. Bruno Nicknadarvich and Corp.
Norman Epstein gave with the torch in a few tenor numbers, and Pvt. Jim Buckley and Sgt. Chester Shea took everybody
back to the start of the last war with barbershop harmony on songs of the period.
One of the top spots of the evening was the presentation of various decorations to bewildered officers
by "Uncle Moe Pilwell," complete with campaign hat and five stars. "Uncle Moe" did himself proud and isn't a bad
musician when posing as Sgt. Charles Johannsen. Beulah Cronin aided him by hanging lusty kisses on the lips of lucky,
lucky recipients, but she didn't forget her audience. She carried her phone number written on her back with lipstick.
Here's the other side of Veronica Lake's lovely face, not often seen in her movies, because of that
EVILS OF DRINK
There were two good dance routines, one on roller skates. Pvt. Norman Plantier went through his act
on the skates while Corp. Roy Grove did a tap dance that was well received.
Pvt. Joseph Perille, an old-timer in the show business, pulled out all the stops in a monologue on
the evils of drink. The crash of glasses being thrown away when he finished his number could have been heard for
six or seven inches.
Throughout the show a strange apparition would waltz down the aisle and walk indifferently across
the stage. "She" was dressed in the traditional costume of the Indian laboring woman except "she" wore shoes,
and "she" carried ever increasing loads of bricks on "her" head. It was Corp. Harold Biscow and it was generally
agreed that what he may have lacked in curves was supplanted by his ability to carry bricks.
The show was strictly an enlisted man's production. There was some spade work by officer and Red
Cross "dog-faces" who acted as errand boys and girls, but all the heavy brain work came from the men.
Dorothy Martin and Lois Nickerson, ARC, together with Capt. Donald S. Huber and Lt. John Kitzmiller
lost a bit of sleep helping the boys over the rough spots. Costumes and sets were designed by Sgt. Jack H. Wright
who doubled with a shoulder wriggle in the Conga line. Advertising posters were designed by T/3 Jack Nolan, staff
artist for the CBI Roundup and program pictures were shot by S/Sgt. William F. Cox, CBI Roundup