Now take socks. Or first take the GI laundry . . . and someone should while the average GI still has a few frayed threads left to camouflage his strawberry birthmark. For the laundry, to rinse out a phrase, has taken the GIs to the cleaners time and daylights again. For curiosity's sake, and in pure self defense, we recently conducted a personal investigation into the methods and wherewithal used by the Depot's laundry for purification of our khaki raiment. But never, never, again! Even on a gray day foggy with vapors! For our timid constitution cannot weather again such unadulterated mayhem of button-busting as our attire was subjected to undergo before being strung limply out in the dust to dry. It was, speaking wetly, murder. It all began, more or less, with one sock. The less meaning that the sock came home to roost, all alone, mateless, and completely doughnut-holed where the hawser rope that they tie them together with had been inserted. And the more, in this case, meaning that the alleged returned sock was more frayed than a stored mattress visited by starving rats. Even in the most perfect condition what can the average fellow, a natural born biceped, do with just one sock? One sock, like spaghetti minus the meatballs, just simply has no soul. Absolutely. Still, in search of the missing mate we visited the laundry. Let us say, before wandering farther, that this was our second mistake - the first was soiling our apparel so that it had to go to the laundry. None-the-less our unsuspecting naivete led us to the washing warehouse. It was a delirious scene. Indians, seemingly filled with a diabolic zest for their jobs, and utilizing a wicked over the shoulder swat, were gleefully pounding our clothes into nonentity against a solid concrete wall of the scrubbing vat. You could hear buttons crack, see them wing wildly away at a tangent from their moorings, and spin like loaded dice upon the ground. The sound as they split atwain reminded you of small, fine bones cracking. And the whoosh, as the wet garments whipped through the air to smash sickeningly against the cement, made you marvel that cement could withstand such punishment. We were visibly shaken and awakened. For until then we were unaware that any clothing manufactured by mortal man could survive such assault. Without further investigation the problem of the missing sock was definitely settled in our mind; it had simply been pounded into complete disintegration and nothing short of a revolutionary miracle could possibly regenerate it to being. We now know where the fundamental principles of the atomic bomb originated. Trembling, we departed, and rather quietly. Back in the staid confines of our barracks, holding one sock forlornly in our hands, we brooded and thought the situation over - sometimes bitterly and sometimes impartially, for the principle of the thing remained obscure. . . The situation as it stands now has no stable answer. For whether Stateside, or transplanted to India, the GIs' lanundry has forever been a deep groan to all personnel concerned. Yet something should be done. For when army clothes finally shrink to where they fit your bulk nicely, there comes that jarroing moment, due to laundry savagery, when pet clothes split their bonds or sheer apart in your hands. It makes you ache. For you feel like an old friend has gone South. Or more agonistically, that moment when the laundry returns you only one sock, minus its partner, which is as futile a gesture of friendly intentions as can be conceived. You don't want to throw it away; the mate might turn up. You don't want it to become a home for roaches in your footlocker. What then? . . . a burning question! It is felt the pnly possible solution, if this situation is to continue throughout time, is that the army in retribution should inaugerate more Christmas's. Several a year! That way benefits might develop, GIs could hang the mateless sock on the Yultide tree. Who knows, perhaps St. Nick would magicallt bring the other one for a present? If not, the average GI, who is a thrifty soul, would at least have the satisfaction of knowing his single stocking could be put to use every hence and then. But reforms of some type should be instigated. For as well as being afflicted with nightmares now and hearing buttons pop all through the twilight hours, we are also subjected to seeing matchless socks dance and cavort at the foot of our bunk. The strain is terrific! Any time now the meat wagon might haul us away . . . Johnnie Leonard
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This magnetic mannequin with her back to the wall (and thank goodness) is lovely Lina Romay who certainly knows how to wear stripes whether they're the GI version or unh-uh. The little lady, in addition to the obvious blessings bestowed upon her by nature, also sings, and quite provocatively indeed, with Xavier Cugat's orchestra. Lina recently acquired a divorce from her spouse because the said gentlemen criticized her hats. Can you imagine such a thing? Hats! ... her hubby criticizes ... what a man! Who but a "feather merchant" would notice cranium protectors when such a luscious angel was standing beneath them? Hats! Heaven help our ancestors! Leave us say her ex-husband should come to India and get a fresh viewpoint about ... well ... hats, leave us say. Civilians certainly are an odd brace of bones. Hats! roll us over gently, doctor, our aching back, you know. |
ROVING REPORTER This week the Roving Reporter, after attending a recent sex lecture, wondered home some of the men felt about VD education in civilian life. So asked passersby the question: "Do you advocate this sort of system for civilians in the post-war United Sates?"
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SATURDAY, NOV. 3 6:00 PM - Bata Tour 8:00 pm - Games Nite - prizes SUNDAY, NOV. 4 9:30 am - Buddist Temple, Mohammodan Mosque Tour 10-11 am - Coffee Hour 1:00 pm - Victoria Memorial Swim Tour MONDAY, NOV. 5 11:30 am - Boat Cruise up Hooghly TUESDAY, NOV. 6 7:30 pm - Sing Song Festival WEDNESDAY, NOV. 7 8:00 pm - Pinochle Tournament 9:15 pm - Baksheesh Drawing THURSDAY, NOV. 8 8:00 pm - Bridge Tournament FRIDAY, NOV. 9 2:30 pm - Movie Studio Tour 8:00 pm - Bingo |
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A DEEP SALAAM to the Rajah's Rest crew for their fine work on the Carnival. From all reports it was a howling success and local GIs enjoyed themselves immensely. MORE AND MORE men have been taking advantage of the Special Service Library and are catching up on their reading. What with the additional recreational hours, now is the time to read that book you've been wanting to get at. THE POST THEATER will feature some fine films this month - such hits as, "Bring On The Girls," "Belle Of The Yukon," "Conspirators," and many others which should bring you some relaxation from your untiring (?) efforts. KEEN INTEREST is being shown in out football pool and you'd be surprised how close some of our dopesters come to the actual score. Be sure to take a try for one of those cameras today! WEDNESDAY is the last day we can accept entries for the Christmas Card contest so hurry up and get it in! MALARIA CAN BE LICKED BY PREVENTION! USE YOUR REPELLENT AT THE POST THEATER!
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CATHOLIC Weekdays Monday, Tuesday, Friday Mass 0645 Wednesday: Mass, Rosary and Litany 1830 Saturday: Mass 1830 Choir practice Tuesday 1800 Instruction Class-Monday-1930 Wednesday-2000 Chaplain I.C. Baechler. by Chaplain G. Dennis. Sunday Evening Service: 1800 hrs by Chaplain O. Dennis. Sunday Evening: 1900 hours. Base Hq. 2 Room 204. Friday: Religious Services at Maghen David Synagogue at 1930 hours.Transportation leaves Motor Pool at 1830 hours. Chaplain Abraham Simon |